i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So squirting runs in the family.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
