Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
