It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize