were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Found the puke drawer
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
