Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
