Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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