love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
These tits shall not be calmed
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize