i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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