better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
