apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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