hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
sarcasm needs its own font
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
