can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
