Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
