It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
someone owes me an orgasm
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
