If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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