I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize