i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My liver just had a heart attack.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
