yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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