well most of my day revolves around power hour
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Floor bacon is actually really good
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
