I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Randomize
