i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
