the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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