idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
