My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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