but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
