My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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