well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
