And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
