so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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