yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize