He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
