You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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