thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
