Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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