she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
