My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
