I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
