Whats the glycemic index on semen?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Mom said you looked used
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
