She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
