just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she smelled like a LAN party
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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