i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
