those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
