Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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