so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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