Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
