This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
