You work out of a Hotel?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
