I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
