i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
