smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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