ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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