girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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