She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
