so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
