Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
