What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
