hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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