i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
