if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
