The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize