we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
